DAVID BIANCULLI

Founder / Editor

ERIC GOULD

Associate Editor

LINDA DONOVAN

Assistant Editor

Contributors

ALEX STRACHAN

MIKE HUGHES

KIM AKASS

MONIQUE NAZARETH

ROGER CATLIN

GARY EDGERTON

TOM BRINKMOELLER

GERALD JORDAN

NOEL HOLSTON

 
 
 
 
 
The By-the-Book ABCs of 'CSI,' with Oscar-Winner Patricia Arquette Taking the Fourth
March 4, 2015  | By Ed Bark  | 10 comments
 

There’s no need to feel unduly sorry for Patricia Arquette.

Yes, she’s the newly crowned Best Supporting Actress Oscar-winner for Boyhood after also winning every other major award for the role. And now, just when all these new doors are opening, she’s tied to a previous commitment to another formulaic CBS crime series.

It’s a nice “problem” to have, though. Arquette gets the lead role in CSI: Cyber, which premieres on Wednesday, March 4th behind CBS’ long-running Criminal Minds. Virtually without a doubt, more people will see Episode 1 of her new show than will ever see Boyhood.

Besides that, this fourth CSI iteration is almost guaranteed to provide long-term employment at a very nice rate of pay. CBS is the network, after all, that has made hits this season of its NCIS: New Orleans spinoff and the third TV version of The Odd Couple, which was critically panned to apparently no avail.

So Arquette will be just fine, even if CSI: Cyber for the most part tends to be head-hurting on a number of fronts. Not the least of which are its far-fetched leaps from one high-tech deduction to another.

Arquette plays Washington, D.C.-based FBI special agent Avery Ryan, who of course has a tragic backstory. This fuels her single-minded efforts to chase down conscience-less cyber criminals who in the first two episodes kidnap infants and fatally derail a roller coaster. The latter case, which fills next week’s Episode 2, turns out to be a cut-and-dried case of “gore porn.”

“Faceless. Nameless. Lurking inside our devices, just a keystroke away,” Arquette’s Ryan says in the weekly set-up to episodes. Her voice then drops to a whisper: “It can happen to you.” But please, viewers, don’t get any ideas. We already have enough trouble combating the Internet’s escalating number of pop-up ads.

Ryan gets very much involved in the tire-squealing, physical pursuits of various vermin. Her action-craving right-hand man otherwise is Agent Elijah Mundo (James Van Der Beek returning to the drama fold after sitcom fails with Don’t Trust the B -- In Apartment 23 and Friends With Better Lives).

Another familiar TV face, Peter MacNicol (Chicago Hope, Ally McBeal, below, with Arquette), co-stars as Cyber Crime Division supervisor Simon Sifter. He mulls options, cuts through bureaucratic barriers and in Episode 1, says things like, ”My guess is he’s feeling desperate.”

To which Ryan replies, “And desperate people do desperate things.” Oh please.

The team is rounded out by the requisite tubby bearded guy (Charley Koontz as Daniel “Krummy” Krumitz); the requisite trouble-plagued young newcomer getting a make-or-break second chance (Shad Moss as Brody Nelson); and someone his age for Brody to hang out with (Hayley Kiyoko as Raven Ramirez).

There’s also the requisite CSI theme song by The Who. In this case it’s the very welcome “I Can See For Miles.” Ring the royalties cash register again for its writer, Pete Townshend, who probably wouldn’t mind at all seeing CSI: Outer Space and CSI: Underground at some point in the near future.

On CSI: Cyber, Ryan and her team act very swiftly, oftentimes preposterously so. Computer graphics whiz and buzz. And then, just like that, another suspect is chased down and vetted by Ryan, who seemingly needs nothing more than a burp or a twitch to determine who the bad guys are and who they are not.

Arquette’s character supposedly is drawn from real-life Cyber Psychologist Mary Aiken, whose official bio says she’s a faculty member at the Dr. Steve Chan Center for Sensemaking as well as a fellow at the IBM Swansea University Network Science Research Center. She also works with various police departments in efforts to thwart cyber crime. But Aiken likely has never said, “Let’s roll” (as her TV counterpart does in Episode 3 before hopping into the ready-for-action Cyber Crime Division van and eventually getting involved in a shootout).

None of CSI: Cyber’s excesses or contrivances are likely to matter in the least. Arquette, who previously starred to much better effect in NBC’s Medium, has a pre-sold vehicle that seems sure to take her for at least a five-season ride. It’s not worthy of her talents, but that’s perhaps beside the point. With an Oscar now on her mantle and no further validation required, this is as good a time as any to make some real money again.


GRADE: C

Email comments or questions to: unclebarky@verizon.net

 

 
 
 
 
 
Leave a Comment: (No HTML, 1000 chars max)
 
 Name (required)
 
 Email (required) (will not be published)
 
AGJQX
Type in the verification word shown on the image.
 
 
 Page: 1 of 1  | Go to page: 
10 Comments
 
 
Affiliate Marketing Delhi
The beauty of affiliate marketing is that you don’t have to invest time and effort to create a product.https://sites.google.com/view/affiliateservices/home
Feb 28, 2024   |  Reply
 
 
Affiliate Marketing Delhi
The beauty of affiliate marketing is that you don’t have to invest time and effort to create a product.
Feb 28, 2024   |  Reply
 
 
The key to success in any business is an understanding of psychology… Because our minds decide what to buy. So if you know how minds function, you have the power to influence
Feb 19, 2024   |  Reply
 
 
Ahmedabad call girl services offer a diverse range of personalized experiences. With a deep understanding of individual preferences, they strive to ensure every encounter surpasses expectations. Whether you seek intellectual conversations or thrilling adventures, these companions excel at adapting to your desires. Indulge in fine dining experiences, explore the city’s hidden gems, or simply unwind in a cozy setting – the possibilities are endless with these call girls in Udaipur.
Jan 4, 2024   |  Reply
 
 
Enjoyment is the main factor in our life, and getting a perfect partner on the bed matters a lot. Get a fantastic feeling with the Beautiful call girls in Guwahati. On the other hand, you won’t have to face any disappointment as their body figure and overall appearance is just unusual.
Dec 21, 2023   |  Reply
 
 
Host1Plus came in the market in year 2008. They currently have their network spread in 5 different locations including Brazil, India, America, Germany, etc. The company has been built to deliver high value hosting services to the clients that put their faith in the hands of Host1Plus. The company excels in providing hosting services at best prices. Different kinds of hosting services offered at the website are VPS hosting, cloud server, domains, etc. The service is conveniently available in India so anyone who wishes to buy hosting packages online, Host1Plus is your one stop shop.
Dec 7, 2023   |  Reply
 
 
We bring you reliable Goa Escorts to make your intimate and nightclub fantasies come true in a secure and confidential manner. So don’t worry you are now at a reputed online escort service website in Goa. We counted amongst the most trusted organizations in Goa. Our operators will guide you on the safe and right way to meet a trusted escort. You can contact us anytime on WhatsApp or by phone. We have the most stylish, glamorous, stunning, fresh-looking classy verified escorts for your utmost enjoyment. We can promise, you will feel very comfortable and elated after meeting them.
Dec 5, 2023   |  Reply
 
 
The crew is completed by the stereotypical tubby bearded man (Charley Koontz as Daniel "Krummy" Krumitz), the stereotypical troubled young recruit receiving a make-or-break second opportunity (Shad Moss as Brody Nelson), and someone Brody's age for Brody to hang out with (Hayley Kiyoko as Raven Ramirez).
Mar 3, 2023   |  Reply
 
 
Alys
The technology was illy. No amount of sprinkling "DNS" and "server" can make up for this in the dialog. Where is the science? It certainly wasn't here. I'm taking it off my season passes now.
Mar 6, 2015   |  Reply
 
 
John
I'm still partial to "CSI: No Colon." Not sure I'd even give this one a C.
Mar 5, 2015   |  Reply
 
 
 
 Page: 1 of 1  | Go to page: