Just because I was in Rome, that didn't mean I couldn't watch the Michael Jackson memorial TV coverage, on several channels, in more than one language. I even watched a Sky network late-night repeat of The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric. I was part of an audience she estimated as "tens of millions," and which CNN International later claimed was "more than 1 billion." All of those viewers saw something, at the very end, I'm not certain they should have...
It was Paris Katherine Jackson, Michael's 11-year-old daughter, flanked by her relatives at the end of the ceremony. They clutched the microphone for her as Paris, formerly protected from the media by her father and seen in public shrouded by colored veils, sobbed out a two-sentence message straight from the heart. It was her first public utterance -- and to more than a billion people, it won't be forgotten.
"Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine," Paris said, choking back tears. "And I just want to say I love him so much."
As an unscripted, unexpected, unforgettable globally televised display of grief from a child to a parent, those heartfelt, heartbreaking words from Paris were the biggest such display on TV since little John John saluted the passing casket of his slain father, President John F. Kennedy, in 1963. But this new moment, somehow, reveals even more of the child's personal grief.
Maybe it was cathartic for Paris. Maybe it was something she desperately, definitely wanted to do, and maybe she's better for it. Certainly, she got the world's notice, reminding everyone that the loss of Michael Jackson was, to she and her siblings, more than just the passing of a phenomenally talented pop star.
But I'm conflicted about this. I wonder, though Paris' comments were by far the most poignant part of the lengthy tribute, whether they WERE the best thing for the child, or whether she should have been shielded from the media spotlight just as aggressively as when her father was alive. I lost a parent suddenly at about that age, and I'm not sure, whatever decisions I may have made at the time about what to say or how to act, there's a justification for broadcasting such grief.
I don't trust my own reactions, though, to decide whether baring her soul, and delivering such a loving, sad message on international TV, was good or bad -- for her OR for the viewing public.
You tell me.
All I know is, it felt almost too painful, and too private, to watch.