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I'd Like to Thank the Academy...And a Few Others...
August 30, 2010  | By Eric Gould
The Emmys for 2010 are over. They began brilliantly -- with an homage to Glee in a hilarious ensemble number, with Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Jon Hamm, Jane Lynch, Jorge Garcia, Tim Gunn and my hero, Joel McHale. Then came some surprise wins (Jim Parsons, CBS's The Big Bang Theory), and the inevitable, endless list of Thank You's to people we really have no idea who they are...

Agents, directors, mothers, friends, other actors. Most, I'm sure, Very Important. But, for most of us, a telephone list of Who Isn't.

It's always wonderful to enjoy a surprise moment with someone who never expected to be on the stage, such as Parsons. But even then, soon we're onto The List. A rundown of those, without whom, the winner would not be there.

Would all of these List People -- and I am sure they were utterly vital to that actor's winning this particular award -- really mind all that much if they weren't acknowledged? I know I wouldn't. I'd happily sacrifice the mention of my name in a panicked fluster to millions of people who have no idea who I am, in exchange for perhaps a few words on that person's particular acting experience, or by what miracle the show got green-lighted, or what risks were taken artistically and how they paid off.

strathairn-emmy.jpgMaybe not a reasonable request in this sort of show, especially with a high pulse rate, in front of all your peers, in front of an audience of millions. But I can dream. I can dream of a memo going out to all the nominees with something like, "Look, just a few words how you experienced the character or the story, and forget all the family credits. They're your family. They're used to you ignoring them." (David Strathairn gave us something genuine, from the heart, as did Al Pacino and a minority of others. I'm guessing Pacino's mom was pretty good with it.)

But, why fight it? The audience loves those moments, where maybe someone's name comes up, and after, a heartfelt tangent on what that person meant.

Besides, it's a company town, and if you're in the business and get mentioned, it's as good as a free ad in the trades.

So, in the spirit of the awards shows, and since I have the stage here once in a while on TV WORTH WATCHING, I just want to thank all of those who helped me get to where I am... a licensed professional, and a part-time writer on an internet TV website...


I'd like to thank Mr. Diaz, the sixth grade teacher who mistakenly knew me as George all the time, thereby making me popular with other fourth graders at Hollywood Central Elementary School, for being singled out by a sixth grade teacher and made cool. Also to Mr. Williams, in sixth grade, for mispronouncing my name as "Goo," thereby, again, singling me out for recognition from my classmates.

I also want to thank the medical team at the University of Florida health clinic back in the day for their fast, professional action in flushing out an ear blockage the size of Manhattan, and allowing me to continue and complete finals that semester.

To the guy who held the door at the grocery store yesterday when I had two bags in my arms, I never would have gotten out of the door without you.


I'd like to thank the people at Sony, Samsung and Comcast for giving me the opportunity to have up to date, high-definition electronic entertainment in my apartment. Thank you so very much, even though I paid for it myself.

Um, let's see, yes, yes, "wrap it up" -- I know. I know. I know I'm going to forget someone. Everyone at Toyota, Michelin, National Tire and Battery: I wouldn't be going anywhere without you. You know who you are. The people at Macy's and Men's Wearhouse, you're amazing! Your stuff is always on sale!

Oh, oh! ... And, of COURSE, David Bianculli, for tossing me a writing spot at TV WORTH WATCHING... I wouldn't be here without you!!

Cue the music.

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