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'Dancing' With the Duds
November 17, 2010  | By Diane Werts  | 1 comment
 
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How about that, Dancing With the Stars fans? Brandy's gone, and Bristol stays.

You might want to say goodbye to your No. 1-rated program now, too. It's going down the tubes.

For the record, I don't care about Bristol Palin's politics. I care that she can't dance. Yes, she can do the steps, and extend "her line," and do all other technical stuff required. But the girl has zero musicality on the floor -- she can't "feel" (or at least express) the essential ebb-and-flow emotion of the music -- which translates into no personality, which translates into not-good dancing.

Yet she stays. She's in next week's finals. She might just -- gulp -- win.

Dancing With the Stars loses.

Here's the dilemma. DWTS producers wanted stunt casting to get attention. Accomplished. But surely they didn't want that stunt to overshadow the vote-for-best-dancing point of the show itself.

Oops.

They've played into the politics of this mess themselves, so maybe they're just getting what they deserve. The on-air judges were clearly holding back at season's start, giving Palin better-than-deserved marks and comments so as not to be accused of "playing politics" with the (what's the dancing term for "tone deaf"?) daughter of right-wing lightning rod Sarah Palin.

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So Bristol moved onward and upward in the DWTS ranks, as much-better dancers Audrina Patridge, Rick Fox and now Brandy got booted. That's not to say that Bristol didn't get better. She got lots better. But she's still not good, and she likely never will be, because musicality is sort of, like, well, required.

I understand DWTS voters wanting to support that relatable girl or boy next door who improves from two-left-feet to late-stages-challenger. As a bull riding fan, I cheered for former world champion Ty Murray when he did Dancing a couple seasons back. He started out really terrible, and progressed to really okay as the weeks advanced. But by the time the show got down to its final five, I stopped pulling for nice-try-Ty because the other remaining contestants were really good. It was time for him to go.

Ditto Bristol.

But her mother's legions of fans have continued to stuff the virtual ballot box -- not just my supposition, because they're bragging about it online -- clearly rendering all of their votes each week for their little darling. Which is a breathtaking display of ironic hypocrisy, since these same people who decry "activist judges" have become the ideologically-driven result swayers themselves. Imagine the hue and cry if left-wingers were voting en masse for so-so dancing by, say, Chelsea Clinton or somebody named Kennedy. "No fair!" the Palin-ites would be saying. "They're playing politics!"

But when they do it?

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All that's accomplished is making a joke out of Dancing With the Stars. Clearly, everyone on-air has been told to keep their mouths shut about this mess. Poor Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- big mouth Maks -- looked about to burst a blood vessel last night as he and Brandy were booted, plastering a pissed-off grin on his face and babbling about being happy to be on the show for the last five years (way to bow out, Maks) and reminding viewers how important it was for them to vote. To cancel out the political dittoheads! he might as well have added.

The drama -- along with some otherwise superb showmanship and top-flight terpsichore -- has made Dancing With the Stars this season's top-ranked TV show. But what happens now? Now that the notion of voting for good dancing has gone with the wind, and this dance contest has been turned into a political football. Can anyone take the competition seriously ever again?

Forget viewers. What about competitors? What "star" is going to want to do the show now, when we know how easy it is to find yourself sabotaged/embarrassed by ballot-stuffing ideologues? How do producers right the ship? Can't include an obvious left-winger next season to balance things out, because then the right-wingers will accuse you of "playing politics." (Delicious, no?) And changing the rules -- making viewer votes less weighty against the judges' scores -- will only invite cries of, yes, "playing politics" to punish right-wingers for their (dubious) achievement.

Amazing how it works both ways for them. The producers of Dancing With the Stars should be so lucky.

There's no way out now for the minds behind this fine mess. They greedily stunt-cast, figuring Palin would lure them some viewers by the time she either washed out of the show or got good enough to deserve to win. Too bad neither thing happened.

Dancing With the Stars can't win, no matter what happens next week. The whole thing just feels forced and manipulated this season. (Witness frozen smile on Maks's face.) Congratulations on Nielsen's top ranking, guys. It won't last long.

No wonder they threw together a quick cast for Skating With the Stars (using "stars" loosely), to premiere the competition on ABC next week just as this sad, could've-been-sublime season of Dancing reaches its ugly conclusion. Nothing like diversion to persuade the public to ignore the man behind the curtain . . .

 

1 Comments

 

Curtis said:

I think the term you're looking for is "toe-deaf."

 
 
 
 
 
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