The Associated Press has just reported that China, with a new Communist Party ruling intended to be enforced by the end of this year, plans to cut back drastically on the amount of reality programming permitted on its satellite networks. Talent shows, matchmaking shows and programs focusing on marital troubles are among those being ordered to cease production.
And you know what? Don't quote me in Red Channels, but those Communists may be on to something...
The order, from China's State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, singles out shows that are vulgar or, as the story reports, "overly entertaining." I take issue with the latter -- overly entertaining TV is precisely what I'm looking for. And "extreme individualism," another televised sin that China is hoping to eradicate, is something else we can and should embrace, as both a nation and a TV nation.
But China's pronouncement to "resolutely oppose money worship" and "hedonism" -- well, perhaps, in that instance, we can agree to agree. That sounds, to me, like an edict that would eliminate not only MTV's Jersey Shore, but all the shows glorifying the excesses spent on teen birthdays and blinged-out cribs and dating competitions, just for starters.
Perhaps we don't have to embrace elements of Communism to improve TV in our own country. Perhaps we could simply lay down our own set of rules -- TV Commandments -- to make things better, and to protect us from the worst.
I'll start with a few. Please, feel free to write in and add your own:
1) If you can't display an actual talent, don't display yourself, period.
Hi, Snooki. You've got three minutes: Impress us with your best shot. Do something to justify your celebrity status and salary. What's that? You've got nothing? Precisely my point. And that goes for you TV Housewives, and so, so many more...
2) Don't glorify bad behavior.
All you pregnant teens and teen moms, find somewhere else to increase your Twitter followings. Oh, wait -- most of you would already be thrown off TV because of Commandment #1.
3) Date on your own time.
The actual success rate of the people hoping to find true love in TV's dating shows, starting with The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, is so dismally low, the shows are an utter waste of time in that sense as well.
Have your own suggestions for a "China Syndrome" wave of TV rules? Send them in -- the sooner the better, and the more the merrier.