Last night's two-hour season premiere of American Idol, summarizing the initial audition days from Philadelphia, pulled all the old tricks for which the mega-popular Fox competition series is famous. And really, to do otherwise would have been foolish.
There were the contestants who got through to the initial judges' round purely to be laughed at. These included ranged the guy nicknamed Yuka, who talked and sounded like a road-company Borat and performed the "Mr. Bee Gees" song, "How Deep Is Your Life." And the guy who described his voice as reminiscent of both Paul Robeson and Eddie Vedder, and whose version of "Go Down Moses" had Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson hiding their faces while laughing loudly (and rudely).
There was a Star Wars fan who dressed like Princess Leia - a female fan, thanks goodness, because another Leia wannabe was male - whose meek geek demeanor transmogrified to rank anger once she was rejected. Ditto for Alexis, a young woman so furious when her Grace Slick-ish "Somebody to Love" performance was rejected that she proclaimed, "I'm going for actressing!"
These are the types of moments, and misguided contestants, that made last year's earliest rounds of American Idol the most popular installments of the season - more so even than the finals. Think of that. More viewers tuned in to see the earliest losers than the eventual winner. That says something, either about the quality of 2007's finalists or the perverse nature of American TV viewers.
Probably, it's a little of both.
While I laugh at some of the rank amateurs - the ones who really are rank - I actually prefer these early shows to see the first sparkles of raw talent. Last night, that would include Kristy Lee Cook, who sold a horse to travel from Oregon to compete in Philly. She and her voice were equally pleasant, especially after a diet of Princess Leias.
But in these early rounds, especially, when Ran Seacrest is offering encouragement and solace to contestants, hugging and smiling and commiserating, my mind always wanders back to Brian Dunkelman. He co-hosted season one of Idol with Seacrest, then was gone before season two, when the show exploded. In TV SAT terms, Brian Dunkelman is to American Idol as Pete Best is to The Beatles.
And at the end of this season, American Idol will have been making TV longer than The Beatles made records. Hard to imagine, harder to accept - but there it is...