No, it's not a soup kitchen because the food is way too good and the setting far too opulent.

Instead, the Hallmark Channel's latest lavish summer "press tour" party serves as something of a land-locked Love Boat for stars of a "certain age" and younger tag-alongs looking for a little life support while angling for bigger gigs.

There are some exceptions. Mariah Carey, still a pretty big woo-hoo, made a brief appearance and posed during pre-dinner festivities with Andie MacDowell (right), star of Hallmark's hottest series, Cedar Cove. Carey will be directing and appearing in a still untitled Christmas movie on a network that treats the holiday season as its own personal Shark Week. Except that it goes on for about six weeks.

Tom Selleck, listed as an attendee, ended up being a no-show. Perhaps a recent scandal over alleged illegal water deliveries during drought conditions had something to do with his absence. Selleck, still gainfully employed as the star of CBS' Blue Bloods, has found a home at Hallmark for a new Jesse Stone movie, this one subtitled Lost in Paradise. CBS declined to bankroll any more of them because, well, they draw a devoted but mostly older audience. But Hallmark welcomes liver-spotted Americans with open arms. As president and CEO Bill Abbott put it, the network continues to be profitable while at the same time "bucking the trend in the entire business."

The not-so-modest theme for Hallmark's dinner under the stars is "This Is What Success Looks Like." No kidding. This particular private residence turns out to be an on-the-market estate listed for the low, low price of $55 million. Set on two acres and offering 27,000 square feet of living space, it's owned by real estate magnate Simon Mani. Among the many accoutrements: a roped-off poolside throne room with four chairs fit for Henry the VIII and a yard that seems big enough to accommodate the state of Rhode Island.

Before dinner, many of the celebrity attendees walk a makeshift red carpet area while some TV critics snap cell phone pics between the cracks of a swarm of "professionals." Among the willing posers are MacDowell, Cheryl Ladd (Charlie's Angels, left); Marilu Henner (Taxi, below); Danica McKellar (The Wonder Years); James Denton (Desperate Housewives); Barry Bostwick (Spin City/Rocky Horror Picture Show); Gregory Harrison (Trapper John, M.D.); Lori Loughlin (Full House); Brenda Strong and Jesse Metcalfe (both from the latter day Dallas); Kellie Martin (Life Goes On); and Bruce Boxleitner (the former Scarecrow & Mrs. King star who ended up seated across from us at dinner, with Bostwick, top).

Ah, dinner -- and just one example from the "Elegant Buffet." The Chilean Bass is "marinated with lemon oil, fresh herbs and cracked pepper, pan seared and served on a bed of arugula, topped with a lemon caper relish, with herbs and olive oil." It wasn't quite a match for your tvworthwatching.com correspondent's specialty -- cream of boiled water soup.

But we tarry. Boxleitner, in attendance with his girlfriend of three years after a 2011 divorce from Melissa Gilbert), is playing the recurring role of Bob Beldon in Cedar Cove. He turns out to be an affable dinner guest after learning that he's sitting across from two critics who actually remember him not only in Scarecrow but as adventurer Frank Buck in the earlier CBS series Bring 'Em Back Alive.

Boxleitner, a very nicely preserved 65 years of age, says that the Hollywood film industry is bankrupt of new ideas and only wants to do sequels or new versions of old movies. For his part, he's sick of Tron and says he won't be doing any more of them.

The former title star of the CBS movie I Married Wyatt Earp (with Marie Osmond) recalls "press tours" of the past when every network made a point of spending big money for even bigger parties. Now Hallmark's basically the last of the big spenders, even though its demonstrably older-skewing audience supposedly creeps out many potential advertisers.

The Madison Avenue-dictated target audience long has been viewers in the 18-to-49 age range. They supposedly are more "impulsive" buyers while oldsters cling to Buick, Tide, Crest and the like.

Boxleitner and his girlfriend scoff at this. Both agree that he's an impulsive 800-number buyer. Among his newest purchases are long-lasting razors that deliver as promised, Boxleitner says. He later singles out his still luxurious crown of white/silver hair just in case we might think it's a toupee. It's the product of Propecia, a pill he religiously pops once a day. Boxleitner says that a colleague's bald pate is beyond repair but that yours truly at least could maintain the shrinking forest of follicles up-top by doing like he does. You don't get this kind of info from the younger stars.

Late in the party, Boxleitner is joined by Bostwick, who had been sitting at one of the adjacent assigned long tables. (Places were marked by either a celebrity's name or "Press.")

Boxleitner and Bostwick, 70, used to regularly go against each other for the same role, and still do on occasion. But Bruce Davison lately has emerged as Bruce's main latter day competitor, his girlfriend says. 

On this night, Boxleitner and Bostwick amiably reminisce about old times before the tvww correspondent they'll soon forget asks if they'll pose for a picture together.  Yes, they will -- and gladly. It seems like a nice symmetrical way to end the evening. Although the night still seems pretty young.