THURSDAY

JULY 13

2017

BIANCULLI’S BEST BETS

ABC, 8:00 p.m. ET

This is not a recommendation: Actually, this is more of an observation, and a complaint. Tonight is the weakest night all summer, to date, for TV programming. If ever there were a night to catch up on old binge-worthy shows in your video queues or on your home-library shelves – or, if you’re really daring, to leave the house and have a life – this is the night. But I figured, this time, I’d show why. For the opening hour of prime time, for example, CBS is in summer rerun mode – yet, among the broadcast networks this evening, is the most palatable. All the others are presenting competition programs, starting with ABC’s Boy Band, which tonight presents its first live edition. The judges include Nick Carter, Timbaland and former Baby Spice Girl Emma Bunton.

AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

NBC, 8:00 p.m. ET

This is not a recommendation: More competition, and more judges as concerned about luring the spotlight their way as in showcasing new talent. The judges here, in this year’s lineup, include Heidi Klum and Simon Cowell, famous for judging other competition shows, and the new host is Tyra Banks, about whom it can be said: ditto.

BEAT SHAZAM

Fox, 8:00 p.m. ET

This is not a recommendation: Basically, this show is a modern variation on the old, old, really old program Name That Tune – except it promotes a specific app. And is hosted by Jamie Foxx. And, basically, is even more unwatchable than unlistenable.

PENN & TELLER: FOOL US

CW, 8:00 p.m. ET

This is not a recommendation: Penn & Teller, certainly, are the most talented hosts presiding over a competition show this hour – but the competition is among magicians, and what doesn’t feel like inside baseball feels so low-rent, it’s more like watching preschool tee ball. The most empathic magic act this duo could perform would be to self-cancel, and go back on the road.

HOOTEN AND THE LADY

CW, 9:00 p.m. ET

MINISERIES PREMIERE: This import from Britain’s Sky1 Television has a Romancing the Stone vibe – or that’s the target at which this miniseries is aiming, anyway. Michael Landes plays Hooten, an American adventurer and all-around rogue, and Ophelia Lovibond plays Alex Lindo-Parker, an aristocrat who works as curator for the British Museum. For a full review, see David Hinckley's All Along the Watchtower.

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

The Movie Channel, 8:00 p.m. ET

If you need something to watch tonight, here’s the best alternative: Quentin Tarantino’s most recent movie, his 2015 Western with great set pieces for virtually every cast member. Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Roth and Kurt Russell are great, but you expect that, especially in the hands of Tarantino as both writer and director. But wow: Walton Goggins, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bruce Dern are amazing too, and they’re not alone.

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David Bianculli

Founder / Editor

David Bianculli has been a TV critic since 1975, including a 14-year stint at the New York Daily News, and sees no reason to stop now. Currently, he's TV critic for NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross, and is an occasional substitute host for that show. He's also an author and teaches TV and film history at New Jersey's Rowan University. His 2009 Dangerously Funny: The Uncensored Story of 'The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour', has been purchased for film rights. His latest, The Platinum Age of Television: From I Love Lucy to the Walking Dead, How TV Became Terrific, is an effusive guidebook that plots the path from the 1950s’ Golden Age to today’s era of quality TV.

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BIANCULLI’S BEST BETS

ABC, 8:00 p.m. ET

NBC, 8:00 p.m. ET

Fox, 8:00 p.m. ET

CW, 8:00 p.m. ET

CW, 9:00 p.m. ET

The Movie Channel, 8:00 p.m. ET

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