The Best, And Worst, Of Current TV Commercials

Most TV ads are eminently, instantly forgettable, but once in a while, one appears that's either really good or really bad. On television right now, there are stellar examples of both...

What makes a great ad? Think, as your baseline, Tina Fey's commercials for American Express. When you're adding up what a banner year she's had, between 30 Rock, lots of Emmys and playing Sarah Palin, don't forget her ad triumphs, too. Her spot trying to get into an airport lounge, just so Martin Scorsese can try and sell her a time-share condo, is priceless.

So which new series of ads on TV is up to that very high standard? Volkswagen's new ads for its VW Routan, presented by comically snarky spokeswoman Brooke Shields.

VW has a long, long history of great commercials. One of many personal favorites is the ad that, for most of the commercial, is nothing but a lone VW bug driving in a snowstorm along deserted roads. Finally, the punchline arrives: Did you ever wonder how the guy who drives the snowplow GETS to the snowplow?

In the newest series of VW ads, Shields talks directly to viewers, urging them not to make the same mistake as car consumers who have had babies merely to take advantage of the roomy, family-friendly Routan and its German engineering. She stands near couples who protest her allegations, but she dismisses them derisively.

Watch closely, and you're not only seeing a great ad. You're seeing what may be the best role Brooke Shields has ever played, and a persona that should be tailor-made to a sitcom built in that image. Certainly, NBC's Lipstick Jungle isn't going anywhere, and didn't help. Some TV producer should let Shields unleash her inner bitch, and have a field day. Forget empathy and sympathy. Let her play dismissive and arrogant -- and let her loose.

On the other end of the spectrum, there's one of the worst, most baffling commercials I've seen in some time. It's an ad for Charmin bathroom tissue, and, in this new animated campaign, features a bear playing football with a bear cub. When the little bear (not THE Little Bear) bends down to hike the ball, the big bear is shocked to see that the baby bear's bottom is festooned with pieces of leftover toilet tissue.

Forget the demonstration that follows, and the rest of the commercial. Is this really such an issue that a commercial needs to address it? Are so many people rising from their toilets with pieces of paper still stuck to them that the proper brand of tissue is seen as a welcome remedy?

If that's true, I really don't want to know. And if there's a next time I buy Charmin, which up to this moment has been my preferred brand, I don't want the salesgirl thinking I'm stricken by that particular tissue issue.

That would be... unbearable.