THURSDAY
MARCH 24
2016

BIANCULLI’S BEST BETS

 

Various Networks, 7:00 p.m. ET

We’re down to the Sweet 16 – and tonight’s brackets are full of top-seeded teams, because they’ve prevailed in the South and West brackets, with no team ranked lower than No. 5. Half of tonight’s action takes place on CBS, beginning at 7 p.m. ET with No. 2 Villanova vs. No. 3 Miami (FL), followed at 9:30 p.m. ET by No. 1 Kansas vs. No. 5 Maryland. Over on TBS, the action begins at 7:15 p.m. ET, with No. 2 Oklahoma vs. No. 3 Texas A&M. Then, at 9:45 p.m. ET, it’s No. 1 Oregon vs. No. 4 Duke. The other eight teams play tomorrow night, split again between CBS and TBS.

 
  
 
 

Cinemax, 7:30 p.m. ET

This 2001 movie, a collaboration of sorts between Steven Spielberg and, posthumously, Stanley Kubrick (they had traded ideas on this concept for years, and Spielberg completed it incorporating Kubrick’s final notes), is a sci-fi take on Pinocchio, starring Haley Joel Osment as an artificially created being who longs to be a real boy. The reason I point it out tonight, other than that it’s an underrated movie in the Spielberg canon, is that it’s the start of a cleverly paired Cinemax double feature, concluding at 10 p.m. ET with 1999’s The Sixth Sense. That movie, starring Bruce Willis, co-stars the same young Osment, playing another odd little boy – one who sees dead people.

 
  
 
 

Fox, 8:00 p.m. ET

Tonight’s guest mentors are Sia (who ought to give really helpful tips on making eye contact with the audience) and Steven Van Zandt of Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. At the end of the night, the Top 4 will be standing, and will have performed twice, including one Sia song. If La’Porsha Renae isn’t among those moving on, the final season of Idol voters will have left the show with a very sorry swan song. She’s on track to win, and could provide the show with its best closing legacy.

 
  
 
 

FX, 10:00 p.m. ET

SEASON FINALE: In tonight’s episode, Zach Galifianakis does double duty, playing both Chip and his smug, easily unsettled twin.

 
  
 
 

IFC, 10:00 p.m. ET

SEASON FINALE: On tonight’s final episode of the season, a giant noodle creature takes over the city – the weirdest food-monster invasion since 1978’s The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. If you’re not aware of that film, you can do a Google search and ketchup.

 
  
 
 
 
 
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Dave Bianculli
Howdy pardner,

Did you pass out on your keyboard after getting drunk, and then just kept bouncing your head over and over and over???

ROTFFLMBFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously dude, watch more TV, drink less alcohol!!!!

Warmly,

Dave
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David Bianculli

Founder / Editor

David Bianculli has been a TV critic since 1975, including a 14-year stint at the New York Daily News, and sees no reason to stop now. Currently, he's TV critic for NPR's Fresh Air with Terry Gross, and is an occasional substitute host for that show. He's also an author and teaches TV and film history at New Jersey's Rowan University. His 2009 Dangerously Funny: The Uncensored Story of 'The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour', has been purchased for film rights. His latest, The Platinum Age of Television: From I Love Lucy to the Walking Dead, How TV Became Terrific, is an effusive guidebook that plots the path from the 1950s’ Golden Age to today’s era of quality TV.