And Then He Tripped Over the Ottoman

October 3, 2011 11:04 PM

By Bill Brioux
tvfeedsmyfamily.com

People often ask, "What's your favorite all-time TV show?" I never hesitate to answer: The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Sure, part of it is nostalgia. I grew up with the black-and-white CBS comedy, which premiered 50 years ago on Oct. 3, 1961. (TV Land salutes the series with three-hour marathons this Monday-Friday 6-9 p.m. ET, before starting a new 7 p.m. ET weeknight run next Monday.)

It was very much rooted in the Kennedy era, with the pilot having been shot the same day that John F. Kennedy was inaugurated, Jan. 20, 1961. The main character, TV comedy head writer Robert Petrie (Van Dyke), had that Kennedy hair, with his hot wife, Laura (Mary Tyler Moore), just a pillbox hat away from being a Jackie Kennedy lookalike.

And it had vigor. This TV couple was young, attractive and looked like they were really into each other. Rob and Laura's two single beds, a holdover from a more prudish era on television, was the one inauthentic note on The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Not that I cared about that as a child watching the show, which I probably didn't really get into until after it ended its run in 1966 and was rerun as an afternoon series. I probably identified more with their only child Ritchie (Larry Mathews). The home life was of less interest to me back then than the scene at work, where writers Buddy (Morey Amsterdam) and Sally (Rose Marie) and producer Mel Cooley (Richard Deacon) were always comedy gold.

Van Dyke today says he has lost track of the number of actual TV comedy writers who have come up to him and said they got into the business because of The Dick Van Dyke Show. There are probably more than a few TV critics who would fall into that same category. What Rob and Buddy and Sally got to do every day just seemed like the greatest job in the world.

It all spilled out of Carl Reiner's head. The man took his life working as a performer/writer on Your Show of Shows and Caesar's Hour and spun it into a perfect little series. It's really his and his late wife Estelle's life we're watching, right down to the New Rochelle, N.Y., home address, the neighbors Millie and Jerry, and the only son (Rob Reiner). Producer Sheldon Leonard -- yes, Chuck Lorre pays tribute each week on The Big Bang Theory by naming his two main characters Sheldon and Leonard -- was the one who told Reiner he wasn't right for the part of Rob Petrie. Leonard, who also produced The Andy Griffith Show and The Danny Thomas Show, wanted Reiner to take a look at this Van Dyke kid he had just seen on Broadway in Bye Bye Birdie.

All of these details and many, many more are in author Vince Waldron's The Official Dick Van Dyke Show Book. Just re-released by Chicago Review Press, it has been revised and updated from the original edition, which was already the best companion book to the series. I had worn out my original copy thumbing through the back episode listings while searching for 16mm prints of the show to buy on eBay. (Years before digital transmissions, TV episodes were shipped to network affiliates on large, pizza-sized reels of 16mm film in order to be broadcast.)

Van Dyke's own autobiography, My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business (Crown Archetype), was a breezy read when it came out earlier this year, offering glimpses behind a private man and beloved entertainer. If you're looking for dirt, as the 85-year-old Van Dyke says in the foreword, buy another book.

I've met Van Dyke on a few occasions over the past decade or so on Television Critics Association press tours in Los Angeles, and was delighted to find him as warm and personable as he is onscreen. He spoke candidly about his struggles with alcohol, especially in the '70s, and had a few critics in stitches when I asked him if being a man with a drinking problem helped when he was making the feature film The Runner Stumbles. "No -- I drank more!" said Van Dyke.

The Mary Poppins star is remarkably vibrant for his age, still engages in barbershop quartet charity appearances (with The Vantastix), and will sing the Dick Van Dyke theme song -- with lyrics written by Amsterdam -- with very little prompting. Waldron reproduces the lyrics in his updated book. To Earle Hagen's music: So you think that you've got trouble/Well, trouble's a bubble/So tell old Mister Trouble to 'Get lost!'

There was a magic moment eight years ago when Van Dyke and Moore were at press tour together to promote their performance in The Gin Game, which PBS aired in 2003. I happened to be in the hallway outside the hotel banquet room when the two greeted each other before heading into the session. Van Dyke, that old song and dance smoothie, immediately broke into one of those musical numbers they would throw into the series two or three times a season to give the writers a break. Moore stepped right into it, and the two danced and harmonized for a moment in time. Suddenly I was 7 again, and the whole world was black and white.

I guess that's the enduring appeal of The Dick Van Dyke Show. It has a joy and energy that makes you feel good about your world, the future, each other. There's nothing Cold War about the series, it’s all New Frontier.

I was always cheered that my own children, both now university students, so embraced this series when I showed it to them on film. Despite the relatively slow pacing and few scene changes, there is something modern about The Dick Van Dyke Show. The humor is authentic and almost entirely character driven. You notice people took more time on TV 50 years ago, and there is something about not being rushed that gives the show an intimacy today's comedies seem to lack.

The classic example is the "milk cake" scene in an early episode. Van Dyke wants cake, but there's no milk. Laura says eat it with coffee. Van Dyke makes a face and says that's just wrong -- you can only eat cake with milk. It's not part of any A, B or C storyline. It's just real life.

I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners are classics but seem decades older, not the four or five years from the end of their runs to the beginning of the Van Dyke show. Lucille Ball, who actually appeared in films with The Three Stooges and The Marx Brothers, seems closer in performance to those theatrical comedy conventions. The Dick Van Dyke Show is all about television, and springs entirely from a TV perspective and sensibility.

Stay up to date on all things Van Dyke at David Van Deusen's site, The Walnut Times (named after the classic "Man from Twilo" episode featuring Danny Thomas). There's word in the current newsletter about an upcoming Dick Van Dyke Show opera!

As for marking the 50th, check out Dick Van Dyke Show DVDs (a new "Best of" set is just out). Put on a Botany 500 suit, curl up on a large sectional couch, and catch up with Rob and Laura, Buddy and Sally, and even Alan Brady.

If you can't do that, at least find an ottoman and trip over it.

Read more by Bill Brioux at tvfeedsmyfamily.com

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He Came In Through the Satellite Window

August 6, 2011 11:00 AM

It's been a pretty good press tour when you can say you were in on sessions with Harry Belafonte, Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Lewis, Gloria Steinem, Davy Jones, Rosie O'Donnell, Hugh Laurie, Ken Burns, Anna Paquin, Smokey Robinson, Kelsey Grammer, Ted Danson, Mike Judge, Luke Wilson, Cameron Crowe, Laura Dern, Al Jean, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mark Wahlberg, Lily Tomlin and, yes, the Playboy Mansion.

Add Paul McCartney to that list and all you can say is: "Fab"...

Sir Paul was at press tour via satellite from the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati, Ohio, to promote The Love We Make, a Showtime documentary commemorating the 10th anniversary of 9/11. The film is a behind-the-scenes glimpse at the 9/11 concert McCartney and the likes of Pete Townsend, Elton John, Neil Young, Mick Jagger and others performed six weeks after the World Trade Center attacks. McCartney called up Albert Maysles and asked him to shoot the concert; the black and white, 16mm footage sat unreleased up until now.

Maysles and his late brother Dave caught lightning in a bottle when they followed and filmed The Beatles arriving in New York in February 1964. The little-seen documentary of that first visit is mesmerizing; you can't believe somebody caught The Beatles when they weren't looking during that magical first trip to America.

McCartney describes Maysles as a guy with a twinkle in his eye; "anyone who's a great artist with that twinkle is special," McCartney told us, "because you can get on very easily with him."

The clarity and good grace of McCartney charmed the room throughout his satellite session. He covered a lot of ground: Beatles questions, the recent Murdoch invasion of privacy scandal (McCartney was apparently a victim and plans to speak with police when he gets back to The U.K.), music in general.

The way it played out -- McCartney's image was projected onto two giant screens in the massive Beverly Hills hotel ballroom (this same space is home to the Golden Globes every year) -- added to the magic. Like he needed to be any larger than life.

The fact critics had to patiently wait their turn at the mike instead of jockeying for attention added to the general sense of decorum and civility. Although I must say it was tough to wait your turn.

Somebody -- the Showtime exec on stage, actually -- asked my question (about Maysles) before I got my turn. Normally you surrender the mike, but after a split second I stifled the thought. It's bloody Paul McCartney. Tomorrow never knows. ASK HIM ANYTHING!

Several colleagues were already, as Hugh Laurie put it earlier this press tour, carpe-ing this diem. Toronto Sun TV columnist Bill Harris, he with the eternal and ever-changing Beatles screen saver on his laptop, got his question in early. TV Worth Watching's David Bianculli, another Beatles nut who regularly picks Best Beatles covers for his NPR radio broadcasts, had his moment with Sir Paul.
Everybody who got a turn got a thoughtful, deliberate answer.

What a contrast to Davy Jones' blithering, Prefab Four Monkee business just days earlier at press tour. Jones was wound up like a tin toy, making noise but little sense. McCartney said mass and gave out communion.

Canadian colleague Alex Strachan from Post Media reached him with a particularly thoughtful nudge. He asked McCartney if he had any thoughts on the healing power of music. "I've thought of that a lot because that's my game," said Sir Paul. "I've come to the conclusion that it's magical."

McCartney then quoted Shakespeare to enhance his point. It sounds pretty damn precious, but, honestly, the guy just came off as thoughtful and enlightened. "There's more in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your philosophy," he said. Basically there's more going on all the time than we know. (He made the same point about the alleged eavesdropping.)

We'd had a few near-Beatles at TCA in recent years. Sir George Martin was tricked into coming in 2008 when PBS announced a music series that never happened. Yoko was at TCA last year and was feisty and entertaining. McCartney delivered beyond raised expectations. It was the ultimate Beatles fan fantasy where you got to hang with McCartney for 30 minutes and ask him anything.

Things were winding down. I was scared I'd missed my chance. The press tour was this close to being for me a bitter Beatles refrain: "And in the end, the audio files you take are equal to the tweets you make."

Finally it was my turn. I felt a bit foolish going for the trivial but here we were. Throughout the session, you couldn't help notice that McCartney was wearing a collarless suit jacket -- a black version of the mod frocks the lads wore back in their Piccadilly prime. "Where do you get a collarless suit these days?" I blurted. "Are they making a comeback?"

This -- magically -- brought out the twinkle in McCartney. "Yeah man. Didn't you know? Oh, how out of touch can you be?"

"We're TV critics," I tried to explain.

"Look, everybody in Cincinnati is wearing these. Come on. Where are you? Los Angeles probably. No, no, no. This is yet to arrive."

I went on to ask him the obvious back-up question I've asked everybody I've ever run out of clever questions with: What do you watch on TV? After a quick but precise take on American Idol (he feels sorry for the singers who aren't prepared for fame), McCartney singled out sports -- ESPN mainly. And too often, he admitted, it's the shopping channel.

"You know. Excuse me," he said. "Where do you think I got this collarless jacket?"

I've had the great fortune to play straight man to some pretty special dudes in my day. But Paul Freaking McCartney? It doesn't get more fab than that.

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Hey, Look: It's Jerry Lewis!

August 1, 2011 10:00 AM

By Bill Brioux

The amazing thing about Jerry Lewis is that he's still here.

Dean's long gone. Sammy's gone, Frank's gone, almost all of those ring-a-ding rat packers checked out years ago. Lewis, the subject of Encore's biographical documentary Method to the Madness of Jerry Lewis (airing this fall), has had ticker problems for decades but endures. He's still raging, too, which may explain his longevity. At 85, he's too pissed off to shuffle off.

So getting to see the dude at press tour is a kick.

The laffs started even before we saw him. Starz/Encore boss Chris Albrecht got in an answer zone at the introductory podium, and Lewis was growing impatient. "Hey Chris," shouted Jer from the wings, "I'm going to have to shave again!"

Most of the reporters covering press tour in 2011 weren't even born when Lewis stopped making his string of slapstick comedy hits of the 1950s and '60s. Back when Abbott & Costello, Jackie Gleason, Red Skelton, Jack Benny, Burns & Allen, Milton Berle and Groucho Marx all found new careers on television, young Lewis -- together with Martin -- almost instantly became too big for the box.

That he's still making news 60 years later is news. Lewis didn't address it directly, but he is reportedly, after 45 years, being booted off the Labor Day Muscular Dystrophy Telethon.

He told reporters he would hold "an international press conference" on Sept. 5 -- the day after the telethon -- and will have plenty to say then about "what I think is important, and that's the future, not the past. Okay?"

Beyond that, Lewis joked, lectured, seized the room. Told the floor was open to questions from the audience he snarked, "Why don't we get one first?" A beat later: "I feel like I'm working to the Arabs, for Christ's sake." At one point he gave his hotel room number to a female reporter. He did everything but ask for a C, a bouncy C.

Nobody took offense. The man is 85. He's Jerry Lewis, for Christ's sake.

Lewis praised Jim Carrey as the "most brilliant physical comic we've ever had." He says remakes of his glory-days films -- Cinderfella, The Bellboy, The Family Jewels -- are in the works. (Rights to those films have reverted back to cagey Lewis .) He says there's not a day goes by he doesn't think of Dean.

He got pretty worked up over how "the industry has destroyed themselves." Doesn't sound like he's a fan of the iPad. "They put all their product on that goddam stupid phone. You're going to put Lawrence of Arabia on that stupid son of a bitch?"

He went right over the Irving Cohen bar on the subject of television. "I don't allow people in my family to use the term 'TV.' That's stupid. It's 'television.' It's a miracle. It's entitled to that respect."

Sorta like Lewis.

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Press Tour at the Playboy Mansion!

July 28, 2011 8:23 PM

I accidentally dropped my glasses into the swirling waters of the Playboy Mansion's infamous grotto Wednesday night, and now every time I glance at my computer screen it looks like it has implants.

Fortunately, fearless Television Critics Association publicist Cindy Ronzoni kicked off her heels and waded into the grotto to fetch my specs, picking the frames up with her toes. It was the hottest thing I saw all night at The Mansion, which is still a very cool joint but has a bit of a frozen-in-the-'70s feel (which, you know, same here).

Our host, Hugh Hefner, did not throw on a fresh pair of jammies and mingle with critics who invaded the grounds. He was briefly spotted at one point playing cards inside. (The interior of the main building was off limits to reporters.)

Press were guests of the Playboy TV channel, although there was little attempt to sell us on anything, other than a few signs emblazoned with the couples-friendly program block "TV For 2." Bunnies worked the party, offering guided tours of the estate, which was built in 1926.

We were allowed to nose around the lavish gardens. Saw Hef's tennis court, his crazy big CCCP1 satellite dishes (installed in the '70s so he could see a fight), the monkey and bird cages and -- best of all -- the Game House. This place reminded me a lot of the projection room producer Robert Evans had on his Hollywood estate. It was loaded with working Playboy pinball machines, although most felt like Jimmy Caan wore out the flippers back in 1977.

There was a player piano (that worked), a pool table and a few signed photos, including a large portrait of Hef signed by Dean Martin. Off to the sides were creepy love pads including a shag shack with a bouncy floor and the red and blue rooms with wall-to-floor mirrors. It was all very Austin Powers. Boxes of tissues were everywhere adding a practical touch.

The video features TV Guide Canada editor Amber Dowling -- who whacked her noggin later on the rocky ceiling of the grotto -- giving a reporter's-eye view of the red room. Watch at your own risk.

Read more press tour coverage by Bill Brioux here

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Chuck Lorre on Charlie Sheen

February 15, 2011 4:58 PM

By Bill Brioux

Sure, he's super-rich, but you've got to feel for Chuck Lorre.

He is this generation's Norman Lear, the current King of TV Comedy, the writer/producer behind The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and Mike & Molly, but at what price? As a writer/showrunner on Cybill, Roseanne and Grace Under Fire, the 58-year-old former musician has survived Roseanne, Cybill Shepherd and Brett Butler, three women who shaved years off his life.

Now he has to deal with Charlie Sheen. Here's how he dealt with him Monday night, on the end credit "vanity card" where he shares a sneak hidden rant each week with viewers (you can read all of them here):

"I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKGs and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

"If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed."

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Few Sparks as Tyler, Lopez Test Post-Simon 'Idol'

January 12, 2011 10:50 AM

By Bill Brioux

PASADENA, Calif. -- If the 10th season of American Idol turns out to be as dull as press tour's American Idol panel, this deal is in trouble.

Tuesday's TCA session had its moments -- mainly a few quips from Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez's outrageous leopard-print pumps -- but missing from the session was the blunt Brit, the straw that stirred this drink, Simon Cowell. Cowell always told the truth here at press tour, and his candid banter was sorely missed. One memorable press tour session, the other Idol judges made no effort to cover up for last minute no-show Paula Abdul.

Those were the days.

Tuesday morning, there was no tension in the room, just the usual promo blather we get in other sessions. Phrases like "We're going to kick it up a notch" landed with a thud. Ryan Seacrest sat silent throughout, save for a few murmurs. There were nine people up on the stage, as if sheer numbers would make up for the fact that Cowell was adios.

Even Tyler and Lopez looked bored about 10 minutes into the packed press tour session. Tyler woke up in time to get in a few colorful zings. He got rock star macho at one point, gushing about Lopez to the point other panel members started reminding Tyler that J-Lo's hubby Marc Anthony was in the room. Tyler's excuse was that he was Italian, and, well, these things happen.

Returning executive producer Nigel Lithgoe revealed that the contestants will be in Vegas at one point to attend The Beatles' Love show and that they'll be challenged to learn a Beatles song in a day. That doesn't sound that tough.

Returning judge Randy Jackson, we learned, has slid down to Simon's old chair on the judging panel. Dawg.

Stood next to Tyler in the crowded post-session scrum. The dude wears snakeskin sneakers. When I asked him why, he said it was because his feet are so messed up, somebody in his posse tricked out these shoes for him. Dangling from his neck were enough chains to make Mr. T jealous, including one with a silver, bejeweled skull on it. If you were going out for Halloween as a glammed-up rock star, this is exactly the getup you would buy at The Party Factory.

Tyler told me he has had no conversations at all with Cowell, just never happened. A reporter who has covered him for years from the music side told him he was lookin' good, what was his secret. As he was dragged offstage by a beefy security guard, he said he has been sober for a year. I'm not saying I hope he falls off the wagon, but it would really juice up the show.

Lopez looked great up close and from a distance. North American viewers might also want to get close enough to smell her when Idol returns Jan. 19-20.

With Simon gone, however, there's a different kind of stink on this show that Lopez's many fragrant scents simply can't mask.

Seacrest out.

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The Dude Arrives: Jeff Bridges Charms at TCA Press Tour

January 10, 2011 11:37 AM

By Bill Brioux

PASADENA, Calif. -- I had to take a few hours to get my head around the Jeff Bridges visit to press tour Saturday. That`s because of how sharply it contrasted with Oprah Winfrey`s TCA visit just a few days ago.

Bridges sat before critics to take a bow for the PBS American Masters tribute Jeff Bridges: The Dude Abides. It premieres on most PBS stations Wednesday, Jan. 12 (9 p.m. ET; check local listings).

The man is a movie star, an Oscar winner, box office gold. He has two movies currently in theatres and will likely pick up a sixth Oscar nomination for one (True Grit). He is from a Hollywood family, the son of a movie and TV star. He's a pretty fair guitar player and, as demonstrated in the special, has an eye for photography and painting.

He could be excused if he was a total, egomaniacal bastard. Instead, by all appearances, he seems like a heck of a nice guy.

That was the impression as he sat up on stage between documentary filmmaker Gail Levin and American Masters executive producer Susan Lacy.

The room was packed, like it was two days earlier for Winfrey. Bridges took many questions and, when he launched into a long story, gave warning. The story turned out to be not so long, and worth it, and everyone seemed like they'd be happy if he told stories all day long.

His talk is surprisingly personal and revealing. He tells an astonishing story about his mother, Dorothy ("The General," they called her at home), who kept diaries of her children and presented them, hand written, when they turned 21. It's where his habit of "journalizing" his life springs from, he's convinced.

He shares warm, personal memories of his father, Lloyd, the Sea Hunt star typecast as a hero in swim trunks and tanks; Bridges took note and spent a career "swerving," mixing up his body of work.

Bridges let us in but never to a point that made himself or any of us uncomfortable.

"No is a wonderful word," he cheerfully told one reporter who tested the limits of celebrity confessions.

TCA veteran (and fellow TVWW contributor) Ed Bark, as savvy and unaffected as Bridges, saw his opening and pushed the button for the entire room. He suggested Bridges had an "Ozzie and Harriet" upbringing, growing up as part of a showbiz family, yet with none of the trouble often associated with that fishbowl existence. What was it like growing up in a nourishing, neat family?, Bark asked.

Bridges laughed (more of a cackle), and we learned how his decision to walk his own path (while at the same time acknowledging that he was a "proud product of nepotism") helped and hurt his career, and how his decision to keep his own children out of the showbiz spotlight may or may not have been a good thing.

"I decided to spare my kids that and not be as proactive as my dad was, and I kind of regret that now," he said. He seemed at peace with that decision and many more; he says he's letting go of a lot of stuff he used to hold up. He's achieved plenty despite what he calls a lazy streak. He was quietly inspirational.

Oprah, not so much. It may just be that this room would rather hang with a dude than a duchess.

Bridges told us fame can get in the way for an actor. "You know, there's a side to the fame that kind of goes against -- makes my job harder in a way, you know? And that -- and I'm kind of still working with that," he told us.

Oprah, too, I`m thinking.

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Oprah OWNs the press tour

January 7, 2011 1:49 PM

By Bill Brioux

PASADENA, Calif. -- I didn't win a car, but I did get touched by Oprah Winfrey.

The daytime talk show queen and newly minted network mogul gave me the royal tap Thursday night at TV critics' press tour on her way out of her lavish launch party for OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network.

I also got the Winfrey wave. Buddy Andy Ryan from Toronto's Globe and Mail suggested I take my Flip cam around to the side of the giant party tent, erected out on the lawns of the horseshoe gardens at the back of the stately Langham Huntington hotel, and grab a shot of Winfrey through the tent's large clear plastic windows. Winfrey spotted me violating one of several Television Critics Association camera regulations, and instead of signaling one of her beefy bodyguards to beat me to a pulp gave me a big friendly Oprah wave.

The party came after an afternoon press tour session for OWN that frankly left many reporters numb, disoriented and speechless. After two hours of build-up and hype, with appearances by OWN hosts Gayle King and Lisa Ling, Winfrey took the stage wearing a purple blouse and magenta sweater, perfectly coordinated with the rainbow-colored OWN logo behind her. She said confronting critics was "like being thrown to the wolves" and then gave us a 50-minute clinic on control, using crazy long answers to limit the number of questions in the packed room to five.

Things started innocently enough. Toronto Star man Rob Salem broke the ice by asking if we were all going to get cars. Would have been a nice ice breaker, said Winfrey. Salem was immediately dragged out of the room and tasered to death.

The event turned when velvet-voiced TCA veteran Howard Benjamin of The Interview Factory rose to ask a question. His simple query about Oprah's dreams growing up resulted in a baffling filibuster that Benjamin clocked at 23 minutes and 15 seconds. Others, including HitFix's Alan Sepinwall, had it at 18:15.

Either way, an unofficial TCA record. According to Benjamin, who apparently keeps track of these things, this tops the old mark for press tour windiness set several years ago by the late Lost in Space legend Jonathan Harris. With Will Robinson looking on powerless, flinty ego maniac Dr. Smith rambled for 17 minutes.

That was kid stuff for Winfrey. I think it was Benjamin again who said if you wrote down every random empowerment cliche uttered by Winfrey Thursday afternoon, you would have enough sayings to fill a 365-day calendar.

Without someone like blunt Florida Sun-Sentinel critic Tom Jicha in the room to restore order, helpless critics could do nothing but Twitter. Sepinwall and new Hollywood Reporter addition Tim Goodman led the way. "The Oprah speech was longer than Terriers was on the air," groused Sepinwall. "Still going. This bill will not be passed," sniped Goodman. "Our long national nightmare is over": Sepinwall. "I wonder if the OWN staffers are going to hand out loaves and fishes": Goodman.

Andy Ryan got in on the action: "On today's Oprah: critics who desperately need a drink." I couldn't resist: "Four newspapers folded since Oprah started talking."

And on it went. Oprah's monologue read well later in the transcript (although four court reporters gave their lives to get everything down). Winfrey told us, all she really ever aspired to originally was to be a substitute morning anchor on Good Morning America. Her agent told her to forget it, there already was a colored person on network television (Bryant Gumbel). Oprah later fired the agent.

Winfrey was more quotable in the press conference's short after-scrum, suggesting the days of the softball questions are over in describing her recent first guest encounter with new CNN host Piers Morgan (his show debuts with her Jan. 17).

To her credit, she came later to the party, walking the red carpet and working the tent. Again, the answers came faster in the scrum. Her diamond earrings were so gigantic, one of them is being presented as the trophy in the BCS tournament.

I got to ask her a question, but not the one I wanted to ask her. That would have been about Bill Maher's recent YouTube posting where he showed clips of her rapturous studio audience members swooning and talking in tongues after one of her "favorite things" giveaways. Maher says it is the most disturbing thing he's ever seen on TV, suggesting Winfrey is fueling our lust for things while talking about her goals of providing more mindful programming. I wanted to ask her if comments like this ever gave her pause. She said several times in the session that she has spent a career learning and listening.

I mentioned this to a critic after Winfrey was whisked away on a cart with a fringe on top and the party was winding down. He suggested that Maher missed the point, that Oprah's fans are rapturous because they're physically in the same space as her, that their hysteria has nothing to do with getting stuff.

All I know is, after she tapped me on the shoulder on her way back to Olympus or wherever, all the stubborn flu symptoms I've been battling for the past three weeks finally disappeared.

That's Iron Mike Tyson eying my ears like they were big juicy pork chops. (Thanks to ace shooter and TCA colleague April MacIntyre for the photo op.)

The former heavyweight champion made the scene Thursday night at the lavish OWN Network launch party hosted by Oprah Winfrey. Tyson was at a session earlier in the day to promote the Animal Planet series Taking on Tyson. The man has this thing about pigeons, raising them in a special pen he built in his old Brooklyn neighborhood and racing them across rooftops.

I swear I'm not making any of this up. The guy loves pigeons, okay? You tell him he's nuts. The six-part series premieres in March.

Critics were given red leather Everlast boxing gloves as a memento of the series, although, boy, is it hard to type with them on.

Once the most feared man in or out of the ring, Tyson is more of a pussycat today. He told me he already shot his scenes for the upcoming sequel to The Hangover, the comedy film that went a long way toward revamping his image. I complimented him on his own recent documentary and we talked about another boxing doc, Facing Ali. Tyson says he was moved to tears watching former Canadian champ George Chuvalo spill his guts about the tragic life and death of two of his sons along with his wife.

Tyson stayed late at the Oprah bash, sneaking in photo ops with the host as well as her gal pal, Gayle King, who is fortunately no relation to Don King.

Thursday shaped up to be one of the newsiest days ever on a TCA press tour.

New CNN host Piers Morgan kept Twitter feeders busy with his quotable late morning session. "Cocky little devil, aren't I?" he declared. The blunt Brit bashed and banned Madonna as a guest on his show (saying Lady Gaga was half Madonna's age and twice as good-looking), and dissed his old Apprentice foe Omarosa ("the world's most ridiculous creature").

He announced Oprah Winfrey as the first guest on Piers Morgan Tonight, which premieres Jan. 17 at 9 p.m. ET on CNN. Morgan says he felt an instant connection to Winfrey and says she told him it was one of her best interviews.

Morgan plans to do his show from L.A. and New York with "a dash of London every now and then." The former Fleet Street editor says royal lovebirds Will and Kate will be the biggest stars in the world come April.

He also says he's sticking with America's Got Talent. Asked later in the scrum what it means that all three judges on AGT are non-Americans (including Toronto-born Howie Mandel), Morgan said, "You've just answered your own question, haven't you?" He thinks guys like him and Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay are like the over-the-top villains on the annual pantomimes that are still popular in Britain, the bad guys that audiences love to hiss.

Morgan also had plenty of nice things to say about his CNN predecessor in the after-scrum, although the two men have opposite approaches to interviewing. Morgan does tons of preparation; King was famous for doing none.

He also thinks Twitter is a key tool in promoting any TV career; you can follow him there at @PiersMorgan.

Men of a Certain Age is one of those TV shows critics seem to love but give a lot less coverage than, say, The Big Bang Theory. It is almost designed to be ignored, being about three men (played by Ray Romano, Scott Bakula and Andre Braugher) who are aging outside the 18-49 demo. TV usually ignores people 50-plus, so going for middle age, in terms of characters and viewers, seems counterintuitive in today's TV market.

Those boomers, however, are still driving the bus, so what the hell.

Romano, who created the series, says Men was shopped to CBS, which was more interested if it was a typical half-hour comedy. It was also developed at HBO, but leadership there changed and the show got back burnered; Romano was invited to take it elsewhere. He found a happy home at Turner network TNT, where Men airs Monday at 10 p.m. ET.

Romano plays a scratch golfer and says he's a 14 handicap in real life, so that's how you can tell he's a great actor. He says Men of a Certain Age is not just a guy's show; he gets feedback from women who watch to see how men behave, in much the same way men used to watch Sex and the City.

One woman who watches is Romano's wife, who's not always a fan, he says. "Every time she sees me do a kissing scene, she says, 'This is bullshit. We have enough money.' "

Romano ended the session by thanking critics, who he says also rallied behind Everybody Loves Raymond in its first year. "Thanks for helping by the nice things you are writing," he says.

Day 2 started with a laugh. Working hard at that was the cast of the new comedy series Children's Hospital, which began as a series of short webisodes but now airs in late night's Adult Swim block on Cartoon Network.

Among the cast of the medical spoof were Rob Corddry, Megan Mullally, Malin Akerman and Henry Winkler. Corddry, who appears throughout the short episodes as a surgeon wearing bloody clown makeup, created the series after a trip to a real children's hospital with his young daughter. He says "Adult Swim is the internet of television," a place to make comedy away from the usual barrage of notes writers and producers get from networks. "Although weirdly we got a lot of notes from NBC," said executive producer Jonathan Stern. Notes like, "More Alec Baldwin."

The cast tried too hard to be funny, typical of press tour comedy show sessions. After one lull, somebody said, "We have time for 17 more questions." Future episodes were described as "like Tron but with tons of nudity."

Corddry asked if he could take one question prepared for fellow Turner networks star Dr. Drew and then asked the reporter if she was molested as a child. Somebody else asked what the blood budget was on the splatter comedy; the cast all donated, we were told.

Hey, it's a tough room.

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Snakes Attend TCA Press Tour

January 6, 2011 10:29 AM

By Bill Brioux

PASADENA, Calif. -- Critics are often exposed to all manner of cold-blooded creatures on the Television Critics Association press tour. It was true Wednesday at several sessions for Day 1 of the midseason event, but especially at the National Geographic Wild press conference for Wild About Snakes, where a live python was brought out after the session to pose with critics. The 4-year-old snake weighed around 40 pounds, and besides posing with critics got some camera time with rocker Henry Rollins (a snake enthusiast) and a couple of other experts.

ESPN had a session celebrating their new seriesYear of the Quarterback. (It's following their excellent 30 for 30 docuseries.). There was no sign of Kenny "The Snake" Stabler at the session, but former 49ers QB and ESPN football analyst Steve Young was there, along with his favorite target, Jerry Rice. Young offered some thoughtful answers to questions about football stars like Brett Favre who stick around too long. He kinda suggested his old pal Rice might have stayed too long at the show.

College football commentator Brent Musburger was a no-show, but ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews made the scene, though she was barely recognizable until you squinted and pretended to check her out through curtains.

TCA's Day 1 evening event was hosted by Comcast, the cable giant that is about to take control of NBC Universal. Comcast Entertainment Group President and CEO Ted Harbert looked pleased to be heading back to New York to run the business end of NBC and stated he was a big Jimmy Fallon fan. Harbert's old squeeze, Chelsea Handler, seemed kind of standoffish as she accepted praise for her book A Horizontal Life (and the Canadian return of her late-night E! talk show Chelsea Lately).

E! red carpet watchers Joan and Melissa Rivers (who also premiere Jan. 25 in the WE docusoap Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?) hinted they might be making a surprise return to The Apprentice this spring.

Former Hugh Hefner prop Holly Madison was in the house, as was E! news presence Ryan Seacrest, who dashed and fled. Spoke with former Cosby kid Tempestt Bledsoe, who would tower over the Cos these days. The 6-footer hosts something called Clean House for Style.

A couple of critics who spoke with Kardashian stepdad Bruce Jenner said he pretty much told the rich and famous docusoap Kardashian kids to skip college. This should not be too tough a loss for Harvard and Yale.

Read more from Bill Brioux at TV Feeds My Family.

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Leslie Nielsen's whoopee cushion

November 29, 2010 1:01 PM

By Bill Brioux

When the Naked Gun movies came out in the late '80s and early '90s, friends would not sit next to me in the theaters -- I laughed that much. So, when I was invited to have lunch with and interview Leslie Nielsen in the mid-'90s, when he was in Toronto promoting his mostly made up autobiography, The Naked Truth, I jumped at the chance.

Kinda the way O.J. Simpson, who played Nordberg in the films, jumped over people at the airport in those rent-a-car commercials.

Nielsen died Sunday from complications from pneumonia. He was 84.

Pneumonia was no way for Nielsen to die. As his alter ego Sgt. detective lieutenant Frank Drebin would say, "a parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go."

He was old enough to collect a pension when I sat across from him at the Sutton Place in Toronto, but he was in the middle of the hottest phase of his career. The 1980 movie Airplane really changed everything for Nielsen, giving him a chance to goof on all the straight roles he had played up until that time. In 1982, he starred for the first time as Frank Drebin in six episodes of what is surely the funniest short-lived series ever, Police Squad. (It is, and stop calling me Shirley.) Watch it for five minutes and try not to laugh, I dare you. Nielsen played the same bumbling character through those three Naked Gun films.

He was very modest and matter-of-fact when I interviewed him on that day, giving all the credit to the Zucker brothers, filmmakers David and Jerry, who along with Jim Abrahams revived his career. He was charming towards Betty Michalyshyn, the late, great publicist who had arranged the lunch/interview.

Which may have been why he wasn't busting out his trademark whoopee cushion. Nielsen was famous for his fart machine, always ready to let it rip for a laugh.

We talked a bit about his former Naked Gun co-star, O.J. Simpson. "You tell him he can't be in any more sequels," said Nielsen.

I spoke with him again years later, in 2002, at the launch of Paul Gross' feature film version of Men with Brooms. (Gross had worked with Nielsen a few years before on Due South.) Nielsen was very playful on that day, eyes lighting up as we got into a bit of wordplay.

The subject was the sport of curling, the basis for the Men with Brooms film. Although he grew up in Canada's Northwest Territories, Nielsen readily admitted he was a curling novice.

"I'm into synchronized sleeping," Nielsen deadpanned. Really? Has he ever medalled? "Well, I've meddled in a lot of things and I've been asked to leave, too, but I don't mind ..."

Nielsen said he studied how the women's teams curled at the Olympics to get into his role. "The women keep the rock in closer to them, and they sit down more on their legs. I thought if I ever get in another curling picture, I'm going to sit down. That's my advice to actors. They say, 'Give me a tip. How do you go about acting?' I say, 'Always sit down. Whenever you can.' "

With so little practice, how did he make his curling scenes look so real, I asked. "It's called the magic of the camera," said Nielsen. "I use that a lot in honeymoons also. Magical moments. I don't want to give away trade secrets."

I had interviewed Nielsen twice now, and still no whoopee cushion. I was beginning to feel self-conscious. One of his Brooms co-stars, Polly Shannon, told me he worked it constantly during the shoot, blasting extras during lulls at the Brampton curling rink where production took place.

"What whoopee cushion?" Nielsen said, when I finally came right out and asked him about it. That's when I found myself face-to-face with Frank Drebin.

"I'm a lonely man," he said. "I travel alone all the time [piiifffttt-braaack]. You gotta sell it [QUAAAAAAAK]."

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Hollywood Xpo, or What Are 'Heroes' Doing at My Hotel?

October 17, 2010 10:25 PM

By Bill Brioux

Set phasers for stun! That's what it felt like to wander into the convention lobby at Southern California's Universal Hilton this weekend and discover it was the home of something called Hollywood Xpo.

The Hilton, parked next to Hollywood's Universal Studios, has been home to TCA press tours in the past and worked as a base of operations for my quick tour last week through a few of the studios in the Burbank area. I'd never heard of Hollywood Xpo, which ran Friday-Sunday at the Universal Hilton, but they had a crazy little lineup of guest stars, 100 by their tally.

Marvel Comics founder Stan Lee was comin' atcha Saturday. You could pay your $30 and get wristbanded into a Q&A session with Stan the Man. Several original Star Trek actors also beamed aboard, including Walter Koenig, who hosted something called "Stars Night Out." This deal included a dinner with Koenig and -- get this -- second man on the moon Buzz Aldrin! (This guy will go to the opening of an envelope.) Koenig's Star Trek colleague Nichelle Nichols was also working Hollywood Xpo. A table stacked with her DVD was conveniently placed near the door of the dealers' room.

Nowhere near this thing: Shatner. He's still working.

Because the original Trekkers are dropping off, even sons of Star Trek were boldly going to this thing. Eugene "Rod" Roddenberry, son of the creator of the series and Majel Barrett, was booked for the Xpo.

There was also something called a "Star Trek: Of Gods and Men" reunion. Koenig, Nichols and a few various Star Trek series stars, including Alan Ruck, Grace Lee Whitney and Tim Russ, were also beaming down. ST: The Next Generation dudes Jonathan Frakes and Michael Dorn were likewise in on the celebrity cash grab.

The "stars" were not all from Star Trek or even sci-fi. Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, who is 70 now, was haunting the Saturday show. Everybody from Laraine Newman (original Saturday Night Live cast) and Erin Moran (Happy Days) to Kevin Sorbo (Hercules) and Catherine Hicks (7th Heaven) also apparently need your cash.

The list goes on: Billy Mumy, Mark Goddard and June Lockhart (Lost in Space) were here. Even a bunch of Ferris Bueller folk -- Edie McClurg and Cindy Pickett. For those with longer memories, Stan Livingston (My Three Sons) was in the house.

Beyond the celebs, there were tons of Q&As and panels scheduled, as well as photo ops and dealer goodies. There was even a "Monster Mash" costume party and contest.

I've trolled the Hollywood collectors shows that have been housed in the San Fernando Valley several times over the past 15 years or so, and this Hollywood Xpo list is quite comparable. In past shows, some stars confided to me that they accepted invitations to these things basically for grocery money, taking the cash they got from signing autographs at tables inside the convention and heading straight to Trader Joe's or Ralph's.

Money can't be a problem for Stan Lee, but quite a few of these folks haven't worked in awhile. And as long as there are people willing to truck in from Van Nuys, Brampton and beyond to see their old TV favorites, these shows will boldly go on for who knows how long. One conventioneer seemed jazzed that Susan Olsen from The Brady Bunch was in the house. Jiminy -- she didn't even make that Christmas reunion back in the '80s.

More surprising was this name on the list: Tim Kring, the executive producer behind what was the hottest show on television four years ago, Heroes. I stuck my head in Friday's Heroes reunion Q&A session, where Jack Coleman and Nichelle Nichols were also in attendance. There were about as many people in the cavernous banquet room as on the panel.

That's television. One minute, you're a Hero. The next, you're signing autographs two tables over from Elvira and Buzz Aldrin.

One small step away from celebrity, one giant leap into Ballroom C of the Universal Hilton.

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'Glee' Does God

October 6, 2010 6:15 PM

By Bill Brioux

I guess I was looking for a miracle from Tuesday night's extra spiritual episode of Glee. Executive producer Ryan Murphy has faith in himself, I'll say that. Setting up his high school musical as a pop parable on modern day spirituality is a tall task. He's inviting scorn from the right and the left, from the Tea Partiers and the Agnostics. Only a producer with a two-year commitment and riding a ratings surge would get a network to sign off on a religion-in-schools storyline.

The episode succeeded and failed about as often as any Glee episode. You applaud the reach, but wince when the grasp falls short. [You can watch the episode at Hulu.]

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Smart move opening the episode through the perspective of the dumb guy, Finn (Cory Monteith, and, while we're at it, hats off to this smart guy for playing dumb so convincingly every week). Finn's only religion is football. He would get spiritual nourishment from a George Foreman Grill.

The "Grilled Cheesus" motif was brilliant and led to all sorts of comic absurdities -- Artie's wheelchair football romp, Rachel's generous mammary moment. (Although, again, a football rival is kicked out of the league for being overage, yet a player in a metal chair is considered an eligible receiver?).

Not having Josh Sussman show up as Jacob Ben Israel to sing Hava Nagila was either a blessing or a missed opportunity.

Where the show had less success was in Tuesday night's many serious moments. Again, they were uneven. Mike O'Malley grows each week as Kurt's dad, Burt. The scenes where Emma (Jayma Mays) and Mr. Shue pull Kurt (Chris Colfer) out of class were written, acted and shot to cinematic perfection. But Sue Sylvester's kneejerk reactions, despite Jane Lynch's best efforts, are getting way too predictable.

The premise of having songs about Jesus and/or spirituality be the glee club assignment for the week had the most promise. Some obvious titles made the cut. Mark Salling (Puck) made the most out of a simple rendition of Billy Joel's Only the Good Die Young. Amber Riley (Mercedes) got to shine on a couple of numbers, including a full gospel choir arrangement of the old Simon & Garfunkel standard Bridge Over Troubled Water. You could see (What if God Was) One of Us coming all the way up Broadway.

Again, however, with Lea Michele (Rachel) and the Streisand number? My son should not be asking me every week, "What song is that?"

I wish they had done God Only Knows by the Beach Boys; this is a glee club. R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion was a nice touch.

Chris Colfer's moody run at I Wanna Hold Your Hand was a surprise, at least, and might have been more effective if it hadn't been stolen from Across The Universe.

Much was placed on Colfer's shoulders in this crazy ambitious episode. He had to represent gays and non-believers, and risk being seen as stubborn and unsympathetic. We got a lot of closeups of Colfer's red face. Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester registered predictable outrage at this violation of church and state, and her mentally challenged sister was brought in as a device to soften Sue's stance. As for Mr. Shue, we're not really sure what he believes in, which was a lost opportunity. Mr. Shue really, in many ways, is this series' "Father" figure.

The ending was far too predictable. You knew it would end with a touching hospital scene and a life-affirming finger squeeze. Missing, I felt, was the Trouble with Angels moment that needed to come right before that. In that 1966 film, Rosalind Russell's steely mother superior has a breakdown in a church where she clings to faith and belief after the death of a sister she loved. It made a powerful and lasting impression to see this authority figure struggle and reach, to see her reduced to a dark moment of doubt. It brought some meaning to her faith and context to why it mattered.

Looking for anything that profound in Episode 3 of 22 in Season 2 of any series is unrealistic and ridiculous. It's like expecting a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

Still, hats off to Glee for giving God the same shot as Britney, Lady Gaga and Madonna.

[Watch the full "Grilled Cheesus" episode at Hulu.]

Read more from Bill Brioux at TV Feeds My Family.

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Not Getting 'Snookered' by MTV's "Jersey Shore"

August 9, 2010 12:30 PM

[Bianculli here: On one of the last days of the summer 2010 Television Critics Association press tour, TV WORTH WATCHING contributing writer Bill Brioux filed this report for his own website, TV FEEDS MY FAMILY. It's about the press session with MTV's Jersey Shore, and it's too hilarious not to share. Thanks, Bill, for letting us repost it...]

Feets, Don't Fail Me Now --
And With "Jersey Shore," They Don't

By Bill Brioux

BEVERLY HILLS, CA -- The first of two cable network days got a slap upside the head Friday as the Jersey Shore cast was in the House. The Situation, Snooki, JWoww, Pauly D, Sammi, Hungadunga and McCormick all stood on stage throughout the entire session, prompting questions like: "Do any of you know why MTV didn't let you sit down?" (it had something to do, we learned later, with micro-skirts and wardrobe malfunctions) and, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Yes, critics are tired after 11 days of this nonsense, and people seemed pretty punchy. When the session ended, I wanted to rush the stage and get in on the "Snookie scrum," but my legs refused to carry me to the stage. It was like, with my brain already turned off and powered down (I think it might have shorted out during the Sister Wives session), my body was stepping in and overriding any remaining journalistic instinct.

Don't go, Bill, there is nothing to see here, resist temptation, move along...

Snooki is the Jersey Shore moppet with the high teased hair, squat torso and perma-tan. She drops so many kooky phrases she is coming out with a "Snooktionairy," she told us. It wasn't a joke.

"Snookin'," for example, is Snookese for "lookin'," as in, "I'm snookin' for love, I'm snookin' for a guy. If I snooked the night, then I took the night. Get it?"

Snooki, who couldn't stop touching her hair, talked about her recent arrest. "I was in the drunk tank for a little bit," she said. "I had too many tequilas."

"It happens," said Pauly D.

Afterwards, in the scrum (according to a colleague--again, my legs said no), Snooki was asked about president Obama going on The View and confessing that he is out of the Snooki loop. Snooki isn't buying it. "He knows," she said.

The Situation did most of the talking, insisting they were all the same kids they wuz before they wuz. Rob Salem of The Star, who'd had a smoke with the dude, called him on that, saying what about the $4 million GNC pill deal, etc. Situation insisted he was still Situation normal.

Finally, the gang was asked, now that they have this incredible platform, "what message do you have for the world?"

JWoww said "a shared house," Deena Nicole said "live life to the fullest" and DJ Pauly D said, "You will be surprised how entertaining you are just being yourself." The Situation said, "Be proud of who you are, black hair, white hair, blond hair. You know what I'm saying? Pretty much, that's about it."

The message I take from all of this: trust your legs. They know.

Later in the day, there was a press tour session with Tony Danza, who is starring in an upcoming A&E reality series called Teach: Tony Danza. The former Taxi and Who's The Boss? star goes back to school as a 10th-grade English teacher in a large urban Philadelphia high school.

Have to admit, I missed the session, but was tipped by Bill Harris at the Toronto Sun that 59-year-old actor had a great take on Jersey Shore. Here it is from the transcript:

"I think shows like Jersey Shore make it harder on teachers, in general. Every day I tell kids, 'Good behavior will pay off. Promise. Good behavior will pay off.' And then they go home and watch that show and say, 'Wait a minute. Mr. Danza, you're wrong. Bad behavior pays off.' So that's what I think. That's what really hurts us. By the way, that is where we get into the cultural end of this. What is our responsibility? We yell about bad schools and bad teachers and failing schools, and then we put shows on like that, that give the kids the wrong model, and then we're surprised when they act out."

Sounds like Mr. Danza's class is well worth taking. Teach: Tony Danza starts Friday, Oct. 1 on A&E.

--

Visit Bill Brioux's TV FEEDS MY FAMILY website by clicking HERE.

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GUEST BLOG #37: Bill Brioux from TCA Press Tour, on Munchies and Muppets

August 2, 2009 9:09 AM

[Bianculli here: Contributing writer and busy beaver Bill Brioux, still allowing TV WORTH WATCHING to poach from his own blog TV FEEDS MY FAMILY, sends back two more behind-the-scenes dispatches from the Television Critics Association press tour. One involves pizza and Craig Ferguson; the other, cookies and the Muppets...]

Craig Ferguson Delivers Pizza; This Is the Way the Cookie Monster Crumbles

By Bill Brioux

Craig Ferguson knows the way to a critic's artery-choked heart is through his stomach. The CBS Late Late Show host has been sending pizza to critics on press tour for our semi-annual business meetings ever since he hosted the TCA Awards show a few years ago. [Coverage of this year's TCA Awards will appear Monday.]

Ferguson usually sends a hand-written note along with the stack of tasty pies. Today's message, as hoisted here by the Toronto Star's Rob Salem: I WANTED TO SEND YOU FISH AND CHIPS -- BUT THAT COMES WRAPPED IN NEWSPAPER -- AND YOU CAN'T FIND THAT STUFF ANYMORE. SO ENJOY THIS PIZZA INSTEAD.

Deeee-licious.

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Ever try to interview a Muppet? Critics got to hang with their favorite Sesame Street characters this morning on the PBS portion of the TCA press tour, where the 40th anniversary of the landmark children's show was celebrated.

Talking to a Muppet shaves 40 years off a critic. It was fun to watch and participate as reporter after reporter thrust their digital recorders in front of Cookie Monster, Grover, Abby Cadabby and Maria instead of the Henson puppeteers who move and speak for them: David Rudman, Eric Jacobson, Leslie Carrara and Sonia Manzano.

Rudman's been speaking for Cookie since 1985, taking over from Original Muppet master-turned-director Frank Oz (also the original voice of Grover).

Cookie and Grover date all the way back to the launch of Sesame Street. The 40th anniversary will be marked November 10, with an episode where Big Bird searches for a new habitat.

I asked Grover to name some of the movie and music stars he's met on the show over the years. When he named Cameron Diaz, I interjected, "She's hot."

"I dunno," said Grover, "I never touched her."

Cookie was asked the same question and mentioned he just shared some cookies with Adam Sandler. How did that go?

"He needs to work on his aghaghaghaghlffph," said Cookie, getting way into his cookie munching move.

The PBS series tries to keep current with the times. There's a Mad Men sketch in the coming season, we were told. How are pre-schoolers going to relate to that, one critic asked. Dr. Rosemarie Truglio, vp of educational research for Sesame Workshop, said to think "Mad" men as in an emotional connection.

Besides, "mature" TV spoofs have taken place on the Street before. "We did 'Desperate Houseplants,'" said Sesame Workshop executive vp Miranda Barry. That one dealt with the houseplants not "having its needs met by the Gardener."

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Bill Brioux started contributing to TV WORTH WATCHING in 2008. A veteran TV critic and reporter, Brioux was TV columnist for the Toronto Sun from 1999-2007. He runs and writes his own website about all things television, called TV Feeds My Family.

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GUEST BLOG #36: Another Bill Brioux Dispatch from TCA, About... Lorenzo Lamas?

July 31, 2009 6:57 AM

[Bianculli here: Contributing writer Bill Brioux, allowing TV WORTH WATCHING to borrow from his own blog TV FEEDS MY FAMILY, provides another wry dispatch from press tour. This time it's about Lorenzo Lamas, who broke my Sleazometer by tossing out hideously sexist comments on ABC's 2003 reality competition fiasco, Are You Hot? The Search for America's Sexiest People. Brioux's opening salvo? "Lorenzo Lamas looks Mahvelous"...]

Lorenzo Lamas Gets Another 15 Minutes? Yes, And So Do His Offspring

By Bill Brioux

Lorenzo Lamas looks Mahvelous. The former Falcon Crest and Renegade dude was at press tour today to help promote The Lamas Life, a celebrity reality show/dysfunctional family TV intervention airing Stateside on E! Entertainment Television.

Still impossibly tanned and trim, if a little Tommy Lee leathery, Lamas sat on stage with daughters Shayne Lamas, son A.J. Lamas and ex-wife Michele Smith. Getting The Eagles or Zeppelin back together again for a press conference would have been less tense. There was more tension in the room "than in Chris Brown's car," to steal Jeff Dunham's one funny line from yesterday's TCA sessions.

"Reality shows tear families apart. Are you worried this is going to happen to you?" said Shane, helpfully interviewing herself. "Well, no, because we have already been torn apart," she stated. The problem is between Lamas and his son, A.J. The two hadn't spoken for six years prior to the series.

It all dates back to when A.J. was 11 or 12, Lamas told a small scrum after the session. Dad had gone and married wife No. Three of Four, and this rocked Jr.'s world. Lamas admitted the timing was bad, mistakes were made, but tried to explain to Jr. that daddys have needs.

Still, daddy gets no respect. It wasn't that way between Lorenzo and his movie star dad, Fernando Lamas (the movie smoothie Billy Crystal used to send up on SNL). Lamas said he idolized his dad. Son A.J.? Not so much.

Lamas is separated from his fourth wife, but is still hitting on half the planet. It is even happening on the show: Lamas said he met a lady in a recent episode, and things could get interesting. The episode had Lamas accompanying daughter Shayne to an auto show, and daughter asking daddy to work the room to help her land a gig. Lamas turned on the seducto-beam and quickly lined up his next date. What a guy, what a dad.

Lamas said he checked with buddy Bruce Jenner, who was dissected on that whole Kardashian show, before stepping into the big, fat E! celebrity vat of goo. Jenner warned his pal that cameras would be thrust in his face 24/7. Lamas took the advice, remembered he didn't have a steady TV gig, held his nose and walked the plank.

"You'll be surprised to see how normal and dysfunctional our family is," Lamas told reporters. "We are in a sense rebuilding out lives, professionally and personally."

Son A.J. was a little more direct. "A f***ing TV show, to bring us back together? If it takes a TV show for me and this guy to get back together, so be it."

Shayne is just glad to be part of one big happy family again. "My dad has come through," she said, gaining volume the way Catherine O'Hara's Lola Heatherton used to shout "I'm going to bear all your children!" on SCTV.

That's the series that ended before all of this celebrity reality junk took TV beyond parody. Those were the days.

--

Bill Brioux started contributing to TV WORTH WATCHING in 2008. A veteran TV critic and reporter, Brioux was TV columnist for the Toronto Sun from 1999-2007. He runs and writes his own website about all things television, called TV Feeds My Family.

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GUEST BLOG #35: Bill Brioux Checks In From TCA Press Tour

July 30, 2009 9:44 AM

[Bianculli here: The seminannual Television Critics Association press tour has begun -- and even though I'm not there this time, TV WORTH WATCHING is, thanks to contributing writers Bill Brioux and Diane Holloway. Diane's piece on this weekend's TCA Awards will run Monday. But first, here are two of old buddy Brioux's typically observant dispatches from the West Coast -- one on Matt Damon, the other on ventriloquist Jeff Dunham...]

Matt Damon Makes History, Jeff Dunham Makes Headlines

By Bill Brioux

Maybe it's just because I'm sitting next to the constantly clicking still photographers, but the buzz level seems to have jumped a notch on Day Two of the Television Critics Association press tour. I'm in a session now for The History Network with Matt Damon and Marisa Tomei, both very involved with a program called The People Speak.

This is a different kind of show for the Hitler Channel: hiring actors to get up and read historical documents and speeches, especially moments when ordinary citizens stood up and changed history. Even the inspiration behind this deal joked that this could be a turn-off for non-history buffs.

"As I'm describing it now, I'm getting bored," joked author Howard Zinn (A People's History of the United States).

It helps that the actors involved are all A-list: Damon, Tomei, Josh Brolin, David Strathairn, Don Cheadle and musicians such as Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Eddie Vedder. Somebody asked Damon what other musicians were on the series.

"What -- Dylan and Springsteen aren't enough for you?" he quipped.

Damon said he's spent 10 years trying to get this "locomotive up the mountain," and said Zinn's book had a "huge impact on my life." He pitched through meeting after meeting at Fox and HBO trying to get this documentary series off the ground. HBO wanted stand-alone, scripted films depicting different moments in U.S. history. "It was such a big project and so unwieldy, HBO eventually just ran out of gas for us," Damon said.

Now he's happy to be at History and sticking to "actual words" (the actors reads through everything from private letters from Confederate soldiers to passages from John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath). How did he get over all those network turn-downs?

Said Damon: "I'm an actor, I'm used to being rejected."

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Comedian/ventriloquist Jeff Dunham wanted to help critics out by offering some headlines for his TCA visit Wednesday. Dunham is the dude with all those big-headed dummies (no, not the critics) he carts up to Just Four Laughs every summer. You know them: his cranky old man Walter, Peanut, Bubba Jr., and Achmed the Dead Terrorist (basically a talking skeleton). He has a new series, The Jeff Dunham Show, coming to Comedy Central Oct. 22.

Among Dunham's headline suggestions:

Jeff Dunham Show Cast is Kinda Wooden

Dunham's Show is for Dummies

Dunham Makes Dolls Talk but Can't Make Audience Laugh

Dunham is as Funny as a Block of F***ing Wood

Not Funny: Read My Lips

There were others. He went on to make hilarious jokes about how all the critics are being downsized and stuff. "Are you guys going to wait to get laid off or take the early severance package?"

To be fair, grumpy grandpa Walter said that, not Jeff. Still, Jeff Dunham is a Tool.

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Bill Brioux started contributing to TV WORTH WATCHING in 2008. A veteran TV critic and reporter, Brioux was TV columnist for the Toronto Sun from 1999-2007. He runs and writes his own website about all things television, called TV Feeds My Family.

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One Last Piece of Our Cronkite Tribute: Bill Brioux Quotes A Swearing, Stuttering Uncle Walter

July 22, 2009 7:20 AM

When I put out a call (actually, an email) to our TV WORTH WATCHING writers for reflections about Walter Cronkite, one of them, Bill Brioux, turns out to have been unreachable for the weekend in some remote cabin. (Canadians will do that.) When he returned, and found what we'd done here, he wrote his own, and it's too terrific -- and R-rated -- not to share...

He tells, for one thing, about the same press conference I did, where Cronkite cackled with glee when demand for his attention turned into a verbal free-for-all. But Brioux tells it with a lot more detail, a lot more flair, and a lot more... brio. And he tells other stories as well, including Cronkite's account of a stuttering rival from the old days.

With Bill's perspective, which you can read in full by clicking here to his blog TV Feeds My Family, our TV WORTH WATCHING Walter Cronkite tribute is complete -- covering a collective couple centuries or so of TV journalism experience. And, for this topic, that's the way it is.

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